Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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