Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize