The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
