BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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