the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
