Sacagawea was the original milf.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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