now i know why i became what i already was.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
