I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
