I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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