He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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