I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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