Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
