I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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