this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
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And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
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While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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