you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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