i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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