Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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