my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
