It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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