Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
