brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize