I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
