oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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