Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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