I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
