Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
