If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
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I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
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When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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