So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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