try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
