so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize