i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
