and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
