Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
...so i touched it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
