I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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