so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
