were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
