I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
