I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
