you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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