drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
