we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
