:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize