are you still at the devil's house?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
