I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
