I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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