cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
handjob tips. give me some.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
