Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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