We won't sleep together?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
