had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
