I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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