i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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