if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You made out with two different species that night
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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