So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
What a dumb baby whore.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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