Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
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