Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
