Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The struggles of a small town man whore
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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