who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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