Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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