ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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