ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
