I wish I could punch you in the face.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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