Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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