ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
