Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
