The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Randomize
