i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
