Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
