You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
two words: eviction party
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have already put on my inside pants.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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