Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize