is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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