just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
