You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
